Masters and Padawans
by KiyaJinnSkywalkerKenobi
Summary: a collection of humorous one shots on being a padawan from Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and my point of view. If you have an idea that you want me to do then by all means tell me... R&R too much to ask for?
1. Chapter 1

Master and Padawan

Okay, so this is gonna be a collection of humorous one-shots on being padawans from Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and my point of view. R&R too much to ask for?

I wen nothing but my own ideas and myself, and anything else that you don't recognize... Giving all credit to George Lucas! Oh, and some of these ideas stemmed from a comment in a story I might have read... Just expanding on them... One more credit to stormqueen873 for the story entitled Horror on Yavin IV, cause that comes from an idea mentioned in there. If you have an idea that you want me to make a humorous one shot on, then by all means please tell me and I'll do my very best. Okay, go on and read, thanks! PS for those of you who don't know what a banshee is, it's a female ghost that guards a grave. It may sound actually nice, but if a banshees grave is disturbed... Let's not even go there.

The Banshee of the Tree's Grave

Qui-Gon slipped into the quarters he and his master Dooku shared, shivering. Hoping that his master wouldn't notice, he slipped into his room, heaving a sigh of relief as the apartment remained quiet. Sliding between the sheets after visiting the 'fresher, he feel into troubled sleep...

-the next day -

"Padawan?" His masters baritone voice rang, making him leap up and hurry into the main sitting room.

"Here Master," he replied.

"Good. Get ready to go. The council has called us on a mission to the planet of Kashyyk to scout a mysterious presence that the wookiees are complaining about."

"Yes master," the young Padawan replied, scooting into his room and grabbing the essential items.

-hours later -

Inwardly, he was growling with frustration at this blasted mission. Sithspawn. He slapped at mosquitoes, he tried not to think about how much he was sweating, and tried his best to be attuned to the dense jungle around him for any life forms. Nope, it was too much to handle. Just as he was about to give up, he felt something wrap around his ankle. He let out a scream that shattered even the noises of the woods, flailing as he was jerked upside down. His master came crashing back and stared at him dangling from the tree by the vine trap, but his Padawan wasn't aware.

"Help! It's got me! It's coming for me, help! I'm gonna be eaten!"

The master stared at his hysterical apprentice and wondered what in the galaxy his Padawan was blubbering about.

"Calm down Qui!" His voice sounded oddly high.

"Master? Help, get it away from me!"

"Get what away Padawan? It's just a vine trap!"

There was a sudden silence from the boy, and misty blue eyes peered from the folds of the tunic that he was trying to keep above his head. The silence grew into an embarrassed atmosphere. Qui-Gon's face went completely red. With a funny look at him, his master proceeded to cut him down.

"Now, would you mind telling your poor master what made you over react so?"

The silence stretched. "Well master, last night Mace was telling a story about a banshee of a tree..." Face red and voice sheepish, he trailed off.

"And so you believed it?" His masters voice, he noticed, was oddly high again.

"Well, for a while, but..."

"So it obviously hasn't worn off yet" his master said dryly.

"The things a master have to go through..." He faintly heard his master murmur.

"Well Padawan, I think I ought to congratulate you on several points. One, on the whole, we have found evidence of someone here, two, we have a perfect excuse to get out of this sithly jungle to get your ankle checked, and three, you have another story to tell that will make the whole Jedi temple rollick with laughter."

The glare from his Padawan only made the master loose his composure completely... The sound of riotous laughter from his master echoed through the forest. Funny, he could have sworn that he felt the Force laughing at him too. Oh well, maybe it was just his imagination running wild... Again. Sithspit.


	2. Chapter 2

Horror on Yavin IV

(Obi and Kiya are 15)

They would be going on another mission. Again. After coming back from one a week ago. A tense one. Obi-Wan sighed as he walked behind his master and next to Kiya.

"Oh, come on Obi, it'll be fun!"

"It's not my fault that you happen to like missions and flying a lot more then I do."

Sigh. "Well, looks like you're in a Sithly mood, mr. 'I hate flying'."

There was no reply but a grumble.

- Hours and Hours and Hours Later-

"Let us invite our ambassadors to the feast now that the negotiations have been peacefully settled!"

The roar from the crowd was deafening.

As they sat down at the table, the funnily dressed waiters came out bearing plates.

Following his master, Obi-Wan picked up his fork and knife and pushed it into the thing that was on his plate... And screamed. He leaped up wildly, stumbling away from the table as the bug that was as big as his head scuttled away on the table in a rather distracted manner. He staggered, mind swirling and stomach reeling. This was not good. He felt himself turn green.

"Obi! Stop!"

"Padawan, calm down!"

Too late. He crashed into the prime minister and promptly threw up.

Among the many sounds he heard vaguely, he heard laughter.

As he lifted his tear-filled eyes, he saw his master and Kiya doubled over with laughter. This day couldn't get any worse. And of course, just to spite him, he fainted. Yep, this day just hit the all-time low...

When he woke up he was in his own room in the Jedi temple, with Kiya bending over him.

"Oh, good, I thought you'd never wake up."

He glared. She rolled her eyes and scuttled out as master came in.

His master was not happy. "But master, you didn't really expect me to eat a raw insect as big as my head?!"

Oops. That did not go over well... He just took the scolding. After all, his master had to apologize for a whole hour.

"Funny, I could have sworn that the force is laughing at me."

His master suddenly stared at him.

"What?" His master suddenly turned red and hastily walked out of the room.

Uh oh. He hoped that didn't mean trouble... funny though, he never did get a scolding for it.


	3. Chapter 3

This is for Maren Skywalker - the Forgotten, because she requested this. Hope it's good!

I Must be the Worst Master in the Order

"Anakin? Anakin? Sith, where has he gotten to? I must be the worst master in the order. I don't even know where my own Padawan is!" Obi-Wan ground his teeth inwardly and sighed.

His Padawan was always getting into trouble and they together were always getting called to the council to get reprimanded. The council meted out horrible punishments. Like the time that they had to take kitchen duty, or the time that they had to wash the council room windows-from the outside. The council never listened to him when he protested that he had vertigo... Anakin had promised not to get into trouble again. Not like he had believed it, though.

WHERE was his Padawan? WHAT was he doing now? WHAT kind of trouble was he getting into?

The last escapade had been to mess with the kitchen droids, and the only reason he knew it was Anakin was because what other Padawan would-much less could-do what he did to make the droids malfunction? He grumbled under his breath as he went on a search for his errant Padawan.

He finally found Anakin, to his relief, in the flying simulator room. He waited impatiently until Anakin had finished, and together they walked towards their quarters.

Anakin was chatting happily about his day when Obi-Wan suddenly realized something. Today was Earth day on Coruscant! He and Master Qui-Gon had always celebrated it together...

He turned towards his Padawan. "Anakin, how would you like to go for a walk outside the temple today?"

Anakin's eyes lit up. "Really master?"

"Yes, Padawan, really."

"Wizard!"

So they went out for the walk. They had walked a little ways away from the temple when Anakin suddenly frowned and paused, eyebrows scrunched. "Master?"

"Yes, Padawan."

"Why does something smell weird?"

Obi-Wan paused as well, searching for the aforesaid smell, and scrunched his nose. He smelled it too, now, and it smelled strangely like vomit...

"Well, Padawan, let's walk on and see if it doesn't go away."

He failed to notice the look in Anakin's eyes that always spelled trouble, and he also failed to notice that his Padawan was seemingly trying not to laugh or show any amusement...

As they walked along, he noticed with steadily-growing unease that the smell didn't go away, but kept on, nodding from time to time at Anakin's chattering and vaguely listening to his comments. He DIDNT fail to notice that other children who passed them in the streets were pointing and giggling at him.

They finally made it back to the temple, and while walking through the halls, they suddenly met one of Obi-Wan's friends, Garen Mulen. Garen stared at him, then said, "Obi-Wan? Do you want to take up that nickname of Opee-Wan again?"

Now baffled, he replied, "No. What do you mean?"

Garen just gave him a funny look, then hurried on the temple halls. He stared after his friend, and suddenly his eyes narrowed. His head whipped down to look at his shirt front... There was a stain there. It looked yellow and smelled of vomit. "Anakin!" The yell rang through the hallways and he whipped around, only to see his Padawan running down the hallway. He gave chase.

"I'm sorry Master! Garen told me about the joke and I just had a great idea for a prank... I just wanted to see if it would work!"

They finally ended up in their quarters and Anakin ran into his room, screeching, as the door locked behind him.

"Padawan! Get out here now!"

"Promise you won't hurt me, Master?" Came the whimper.

"If you come out now, maybe."

Anakin sidled out sheepishly.

"WHY do you choose me for EVERY prank that you do?"

"Because... Well, Master Qui-Gon told me that he always tried to make you laugh... So... I thought..."

"Well, it doesn't work- wait, did you say master Qui-Gon told you?"

"Yes. And like the one time he called you Obi-Wubbles."

Obi-Wan turned red. "I-I see. Next time, Padawan, test it on someone else... Like Bant."

Anakin's eyes lit up at the look on his Master's face. "You mean you'll help me?"

"If you don't play any more on me, if you don't tell anyone that I helped you, and if you don't tell anyone about the nicknames."

"Deal! Wizard!"

...

Screams and yells came from the Kenobi/Skywalker quarters and faintly floated out the door. If one would have looked in, they would have been traumatized for life at the sight of the once-known-as "perfect Padawan" Obi-Wan Kenobi throwing pillows at his Padawan who was ducking behind random furniture and chucking them back with a good will. And the dialogue would have ruined your mental image of the Jedi forever.

"You got us caught Master, not me!"

"You were the one who came up with the prank on master Windu!"

"But master, you suggested it in the first place!"

"I have the most horrible Padawan in the order!"

"I have the weirdest master in the order!"

And so on... And somewhere in the netherworld of the force, Qui-Gon Jinn is congratulating himself on pairing the two together... If only for his own amusement's sake as his shoulders shake with laughter. I bet the force is laughing too, somewhere.


	4. Chapter 4

This one is also to Maren Skywalker-the Forgotten for her suggestion... I now present a new character: Ahsoka Tano!

Snips of Bonding

"Master! I'm back!" Ahsoka plopped her bag down on her bunk and beelined to the kitchen.

"Good. Dinner's almost ready, Snips."

She stared at the pot on the stove and suddenly headed for the 'fresher. See, Ahsoka never believed in Anakin's cooking... She winced and took the digestion pill that she had decided to use. Just in case. With Skyguy, you never know. They usually ate at the canteen, unless Ahsoka cooked... Which wasn't often, even though she did it quite well.

"Snips!"

"Coming Master!" She hollered back, heading into the kitchen and sitting down at the table.

"Oh! Good evening Master Kenobi!" She chirped happily, seeing that he had been invited to the dinner as well. She gave him a meaningful questioning look. He just shrugged lightly in reply.

As they started eating, Ahsoka excused herself for a moment and hurried into the kitchen to make a quick dessert. Better that then nothing, in case her master was a failure as a cook. Oh well.

She hopped back into her chair and took up her spoon. She was wary of the other foods, but in her opinion, probably even her master couldn't get soup wrong... Scratch that. He could get anything wrong.

She took a careful sip, then immediately went on to the other dishes. SALTY! What had her master put in the soup? For all she knew, it could be gunpowder!

She had nearly finished, putting on a brave face, when Master Kenobi suddenly started choking.

"Master?" Anakin's voice made her wince. He sounded alarmed.

She started getting a little scared too... Until she saw the expression on his face...

She tried, but it was no use. She erupted in laughter, choking and gasping, tears gathering in her eyes from the hilarity.

"Spicy..." Her master's master rasped. This time she was screaming in laughter. Her Master glared, then gave his master a glass of water.

"Thank you." He choked, downing it quickly. Then he began to laugh.

"I never thought that you would go to that length to make my prophecy come true." Master Kenobi said, with an arched eyebrow at his former Padawan.

Anakin just looked at him pleadingly.

"What prophecy?" Asoka asked, leaning forward in glee.

"I always said that Anakin would be the death of me." He grinned as Anakin groaned. When Ahsoka had calmed down, she looked at her Master.

"Well Master, you can thank me, cause I happened to make a dessert to save you."

"Snips!" She leaped up and ran out of the room frantically as her master tore after her, enraged, leaving Master Kenobi laughing in the dining room.

"Master, it's not my fault!" She screeched.

"Come on, Anakin, you know that I told you one of these days you would make both 'Soky and I be carted off to the insane asylum, twitching and laughing hysterically." Said Master Kenobi, reclining languidly in his chair with amused eyes, watching the banter between the two. Force, now Anakin knew what he had felt like sometimes...

His eyes widened as his former Padawan turned to look at him with murmurous eyes.

For the next hour or so, screams and protests could be heard around the temple, and Masters and Padawans both were traumatized at the sight of the chosen one chasing two familiar figures around the halls in a rage, a lightsaber clutched in his hands. And in the Skywalker/Tano quarters, the force lingered languidly around the deserted table and kitchen, smiling in amusement and looking at the food.

Maybe not as good as expected... But... Oh well... I tried!

*Anakin comes up yelling in rage*

Me: sorry guys, gotta go! Rate and review!" *runs off screaming*

Ahsoka: I knew we were gonna be kindred spirits *grins and waves at the screen*


	5. Chapter 5

**my friend begged me to post this so for your and his sake I wilL...**

Anakin was sitting at his desk working on cp3po, when his mom came in and said

"Grandma is coming over and I have to leave. Can you watch her?"

"Sure mom!" Said Anankin not knowing what he was getting himself into.

Anakin was almost finished with cp3po when grandma came.

"Hi grandma!" Said Anakin cheerfully.

"Hi sonny!" Grandma practically screamed back.

"Do you want to come inside?" He asked.

"Sure! I'll unpack!" She screamed again. As she came inside she went off. See, no problem. He thought. About an hour later Anakin was working on cp3po when he heard the revving off a speeder outside. He ran to the door. Outside grandma was in a speeder!

"Grandma stop!" He screamed. "Get of..." Anakin could not say anymore because just then grandma shouted,

"Grandma away!" And took off. Swiftly, Anakin ran to his own speeder and jumped in. And just for fun he took off and shouted,

"Anakin away!" As he caught up to grandma he saw that her lips were flapping. She lost her dentures! He thought. "Grandma stop!" he screamed over.

"Shhhorry shhhonny! I don't know hhhhhow!" She screamed back.

"Pull the lever to the left!" He shouted back. "And do it slowly!" She did and gradually she came to a stop. "We have to go home and get cleaned up!" Screamed the worried Ani.

"Ohffhhhk, and we need to gehhht new denthhhures." Said the equally worried grandma. As they came home with new dentures. They had just enough time to wash up before mom came home,

"Grandma do your teeth look whiter?" She asked.

The End!

Hope you liked it!


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